thinking of the future

I will be 19 dis October. Next year I will be 20.. I cant imagine my life as a 20 year old girl. I'm still not matured yet. I have not enough life experiences to guide me through my journey. Why I said all this because a friend of my cousin had married last month. For your info, that girl is just 20 years old. My cousin is a year older than me. Wow, I was amazed at how fast she transformed to a new phase of her life, I mean from a bachelor to a wife in her 20. If it was me, I surely would not be ready. I believe our life has three phases. Firstly is the single phase which means playing time, then as a wife then lastly as a mother.you just need to be super-duper ready to enter the new phase of life. As for me, I'm still in the first phase and I'm not ready to enter the second phase. I dont know when I will but someday I will be ready.

Next year, a lot of things will change. I cannot write my age starting with number 1 anymore. people also will look at me as an 'adult'. I still cannot accept that I'm turning to 20..huhu..
I dont want to grow!! Growing is fun especially when we can learn more things and find more friends. However, growing also terrifies me. There will be more challenges for me in the future. there will be more unexpected things will occur. I am a little bit afraid to go through all this 'dugaan dan cabaran' . But, when I think about this, deep inside my heart, it tells me something.

"Whatever it is, I have to go through my life. I cannot run from any problems. I must face it. And I'm taking every single things happened to me as a lesson. Who knows it might be beneficial in the future. I must do what people call anjakan paradigma. (Sorry, I dont know its meaning in English =p) "

Phew! since when I like to think far??.. (",)

wonderpets

i really love her. she is soooo sporting n talkative.. didnt feel shame even in front of the camera. Once, I suggested to my sister to send her to the "pondok-pondok" audition..haha.. i think she will be scared if my sis really do that..
I know the video is in low quality so her face is not too clear.. but i had post her picture in my previous blog.

newborn baby..

This is my sister's newborn baby. Born on 15th of February. Unfortunately, he is a premature baby. His name is Mohd Ilham bin Kahairi. He has to be put inside the incubator because he was weak. His weight was just 1.7 kg. So small. Even his pampers is bigger than him..haha.. But now he has gains weight and had been discharged from the hospital.

super junior eunhae...cutie :3

the gentleman version of Super Junior

Close up version
On first row starting from left: Leeteuk (leader), Heechul, Hankyung, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin
On second row starting from left: Eunhyuk, Doghae, Siwon, Ryeowook, Kibum, Kyuhyun

Lately, I have been very addicted to the Super Junior from Korea. I really love their cute looks and hilarious personality. The group consists of 13 members starting from leeteuk (the leader) and ends with Kyuhyun. Quite a big number but yet they are soooooo adorable. I like to watch their variety or game show coz they are so funny and cheerful. Watching them in the show makes me bursts into laughter every 20 seconds.. haha..They are actually singers but not all of them can sing very well. Some dance very well and some sing very well. The collaboration makes them a great idol group.

This is Donghae..




More Donghae

I like Dong Hae the most. He sometimes can be funny and his charming point is his cute face
and his voice. He has a good voice and he dances well. His smile is charming too..

Innocent Eunhyuk

Second rank is Eunhyuk. I really like his innocent face when he jokes around. He is also cutie just like Donghae but his charming point is his dances. He even called the" King of dance" in Super Junior. He is the rap kid of the Super Junior. I also like his funny character. Sometimes I can even laugh just by looking at his face. hehe

kepada-Nya kita kembali

My grandmother had passed away last Saturday. I felt sad because it was too soon. She followed her husband who died 6 months ago. Our family had not fully recover from my grandfather's death and now... What makes me feel sad is that before this I always visit my grandma and take care of her since I'm on holiday. I saw myself her progression towards her last day. But I didn't expect that it will be this soon. It is right that "ajal dan maut di tangan tuhan" but sometimes we forgot that this is fate. Sometimes we tend to use the "if" word which is haram in islam. If only I could sense her time was close, I could had told all my siblings earlier.. The saddest thing is to see my uncle who is very depressed. He is the one who had been taking care of my grandparents since they had been sicked.He is really a very good son. He never complained of being tired or something like that. He is the one who will do anything for his parents. He even wants to buy a new car so that he can bring my grandmother comfortably as her medicines are too much that required an MPV to bring all of it. But now, she's gone. I cannot say that he couldnt accept that but maybe he feel terribly sad of her death. Plus my grandmother had been living with him for the past 2 years. Every night, he would "inspected" my grandparents, but now he can't do that anymore. When I went to his home last two days, he was still in sorrow. He cried and smoked a lot. My mother and my aunts were all worried about him. My aunt even gave him an anti-depressant to make him sleep. Seeing him like that makes me feel sad and wants to cry too. My mother is the toughest one. She didn't cry even a bit since my grandmother had passed away but according to my sis a.k.a psychiatrist, this type of person is the one who will be having a hard time in forgetting the sadness compared to the person who cries a lot who will easily forget the somber easily. Anyway, I hope my uncle will revive fast.