"I was offended, really really offended"

salam...

Today was the persidangan for the new Perak's MB. Most of the roads nearby the State Building were closed. I need to go to my uncle's house which means I had to use the blocked roads. Actually, I dont know all the roads in Ipoh yet. If I were alone, surely I will lost. *aku mmg susah nak ingt jalan..* . But, I'm getting better day by day. I'm learning though a bit slow. So, nak dijadikan cerita, all the roads that i know ( to my uncle's house) were closed. Then, a police officer in charge told me to take the other way which I and my mother dont know. And, to make it worst, we were actually leading a relative to go there. *macam penunjuk jalan la..*. the fact that we didn't know the way was a shame. There had been some conversations between me and the police officer while my mother was away asking the 'follower' if he know the route.

I don't know why, but I felt very offended of what he said , I mean the police officer. To express my feeling, I will wrote in Malay. Because I really want to tell somebody.

Aku tak tw kenapa, tapi memang tersinggung sangt dgn apa yg polis tu ckp. dy ckap skit jer, but really mmg buat aku tersinggung. Sarcastic btol polis tu. Knapela aku tak jawab balik ckp dy, br puas ati!! There are 2 polices, tapi yg sorg tu je yg buat aku terasa hati sangt. Cara dy sindir tu, masyaAllah mmg zap! terus ke ati aku. Aku tw la aku ni just seorg driver P yang bengap dan tak tw jalan and he's a big officer but he shouldnt talk to me like that. Penipu je iklan tv tu yg tunjuk polis baik sgt ( iklan yg Afdlin Shauki n Vee tu ). Kalau ye pun nak mengusik, tolong la give me a smile, rotten pun takpe coz i know that he's teasing. But nope, he didn't. He didn't even apologize about all the inconvenient they made. Because of all the road blocks, jalan kat ipoh byk yg jam. Mcm tu ke budi bahasa?

I felt stupid myself for crying when I got home. Even now, if I think about it, tears will start filling in my eyes. Knape yang aku nk fikir2 sgt ni kan? bende dah lepas, why should i think about it. Banyak kali dah i told myself 'not to think about it' but my heart don't always follow what the brain said. Aku selalu mcm ni, slalu pk kejadian yg dah leps2. macam mana ni? takkan nk mcm ni smpai besar? smpai dah kerje? coz i know there will be lots of situation like this that I will and have to face. In fact, my career deals with people a lot. If I cant handle this, how can I handle my patients in the future. I surely know this thing will bother me about 2 to 3 days before i let it go. Slalu macm ni, and then bile dah start lupe..mmg lupe trus la. Am I too sensitive? I can even cry on simple thing like that? How can i face a bigger problem? Why am I being like this? I hate it! So, I'm telling myself, I will never ever rude to people especially to my patients ( insyaAllah) coz I know if i rude to them, deep inside their heart they are offended but they dont show it.

Cakap psal terase ati, dulu time before spm, ade mcm apologize event in school where all the SPM candidates apologized to each other and teachers as well. And there is this geng (girls) mintak maaf kat aku smpai pelok2.. I could sense something, mesti sebelum ni diorg slalu kutuk or ckp2 blakang aku. I also heard that this geng had a plan to set up a prank on me tp takde pun at last. So, aku terasa ati sikit la.. doesnt mean that I didnt maaf kan diorg but still terasa ati coz I didnt even talk or kutuk psl diorg even though diorg tu diistilah kan sbgai pelajar bermasaalah but they???... How could they do that? .. Actually, aku x pernh pun nk cr gaduh ngan diorg. tak pernah pun cr msalh ngan diorg so why they talk behind me??..mmg tersinggung.. lain la, kalo aku suka kutuk diorg jgk kan.. the problem is, I didnt.

I didnt like this feeling. I dont want to be dragged by it. So, I hope this will be the first and the last 'sad' entry in this blog.